Marriage: Less Common, More Fragile

Little world, full of little people

shouting for recognition, screaming for love,

Rolling world, teeming with millions,

carousel of the hungry,

Is there food enough? Wheat and corn will not do.

The fat are the hungriest of all, the skinny the most silent.

James Kavanaugh

 

Today’s culture is missing something. It’s missing something so fundamental that just being religious, or even zealous, won’t  fix. The religious and the un-religious “pagan” actually both share this quality, because we both share the same culture. We are empty on the inside and, even when we lay claim to heaven, there is something wounded in us all that increasingly demands to be healed. Modern living is living in the world of broken relationships and neglected hearts.

“Less Common and More Fragile”

MARRIAGE

85% of the U.S. population will marry at least once. (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2006) Approximately one-third of all weddings in America today form stepfamilies. (Deal,

2005)

Of the 2.3 million marriages in 2006, about half (53%) took place in a religious setting. (PREPARE/ENRICH E-Newsletter, 2007)

While the average cost of a wedding is $27,500, less than a third of first marriage couples seek premarital preparation and less than 25% of pre-stepfamily couples do (see the section on Preparation for Marriage).

Age at first marriage has been on the increase for more than four decades. In 1960, the median age for a first marriage was 22.8 years for men and 20.3 for women. In 2005 the median age for first marriage was 27 years for men and 26 years for women.

(Popenoe & Whitehead, 2005)

Over the past forty years, marriage has become less common and more fragile.

Between 1970 and 2005, the proportion of children living with two married parents dropped from 85% to 68% (US Census Bureau, 2005). Also, the percentage of two-parent families varies by ethnic/cultural group: 87% of Asian children live in two-parent homes; 76% of Caucasians; 70% of Hispanics; and 42% of African American. (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2006)

Almost 20 million Americans—about 9.9% of the U.S. population—are currently divorced ( U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2006); 25% of all Americans have been divorced at some point (Barna, 2008. Used with permission.).

About 75% of those who divorce will eventually remarry. (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2006)

Closeness with either a biological or step-father is associated with a decrease in the likelihood that an adolescent boy will expect someday to divorce. (Risch, Jodi & Eccles, 2004)

Religious attendance is positively correlated with higher G.P.A.’s for teens. (Fagen, 2006)

Couples who agree on spiritual beliefs report significantly higher marital satisfaction and couple closeness than couples who are low on spiritual agreement. (Larson & Olson, 2004).

For adults, a stable, happy marriage is the best protector against illness and premature death, and for children, such a marriage is the best source of emotional stability and good physical health. Decades of research have clearly established these links (Burman & Margolin, 1992; Dawson, 1991; Verbrugge, 1979).

Marriage education is effective in promoting marital quality and stability. Well- researched marriage education programs have demonstrated that brief, skills-based educational programs for couples increase couple satisfaction, improve communication skills, reduce negative conflict behaviors including violence, and may prevent separation and divorce (Markman et al., 1993; Wampler, 1990).

Single-parent families rose to an all-time high in 2005 to 37% of families. (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2006)

 

(compiled by Ron Deal 2014)

 

As reported above marriage is presently “less common and more fragile” than ever, but I am convinced that this is merely a symptom.

We are experiencing the natural consequence of life without God. Note that I did not say life without a belief in God, or a religious label or even “fired up” commitment to our doctrinal stances. I mean life without God in the sense of a daily experience that actively sees God revealing himself, healing our “issues” and learning to trust Him in the details.

 

This begins a series of posts that are an exploration of the ground zero of all our issues and concerns. Yes, it’s about prayer but it’s not a new technique. Yes, it will deal with marriage and family concerns (including blended families), but also speaks to the single, empty-nester, the divorced, the campus student, etc… We will look at Jesus’ solution to turning what has become “less common and more fragile” into what God intended for it to be.

To pray is to engage in life with God. Prayer is first and foremost the active path of healing our souls from all the damage accumulated over the course of our lives. Prayer, first and foremost, changes us before it changes anyone, or anything, else. The Lord’s Prayer is a condensed summary of all that it means to communicate with God. There is no greater outline, no greater approach and no greater teaching on prayer. So follow along and let me know your thoughts! I am not a master-teacher, but I want to become more tomorrow than I am today,

Challenge: How would you presently describe your prayer life to a friend? Write it down and keep it so that you can refer to it later.

 

 

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