“Therefore, you should pray like this
-Our Father in heaven,”
Matthew 6:9-13
After describing how NOT to pray (Matthew 6:5-8), Jesus brought into prayer, for those who are committed to learning from him, the unique approach of addressing God as “Abba” (Galatians 4:6, Romans 8:15) Father. Today, this seems kind of obvious, but at this period of time it was a huge paradigm shift. The great and mighty God of Israel and of all creation is addressed with the same way every Hebrew child addressed his earthly father. Jesus taught that our relationship with God begins with an understanding of our identity as children of God. The way we relate to God will determine HOW we relate to our spouse, our neighbors and our selves. The amazing thing is it’s also true of our earthly parents.
In counseling couples one of the first things I look for is an idea of each person’s family history. In other words, I want to understand what their relationships were like growing up with their parents and siblings. I want to understand how they have made sense of their history with the adults who’ve raised them. This has been proven to be a critical issue in ALL relationships. The latest research has even verified that our own parental connections will determine the nature all of our other relational connections. Specifically, it’s how we have made sense of our childhood relationship to our parents (Collins, Read 1990). It is the story we tell ourselves and others about our moms and dads that sets the stage for everything. I believe this is equally true with God. Jesus knows that our working model of how we view God will affect everything. How we treat our spouses is a portrait of our working model of God and of our personal family history.
God is not condemning. God is not blaming. God is not contemptuous and critical. God does NOT treat us as our sins deserve. If you have come to Christ, then you can come to this God as your Father, whose acceptance of you is without question. You can come to God as your Father, who wants to know all your fears, failures and temptations. You can come to God as your Father, who accepts all your ugly parts, ugly emotions and embarassments. You can come to, this God as your father being real, being vulnerable and being open with Him on a daily basis.
Here are some Psalms that reflect this truth!
Psalms 23, 42, 84, 116, 117, 118, 121, 131
But wait there’s more!
Another great thing about the Father is that he is OUR Father! Jesus explicitly uses the plural, in contrast to our individualistic approaches to faith here in America. We are not alone in this family! He also surrounds us with the right brothers and sisters at the right time and not just our husband or wife (1 Timothy 2:1- 3:16). We are God’s household!
James 4:17
Challenge:
Reflect: What does my marriage say about my view of God?
Be open with your Father and be also open with a trusted sibling (brother to brother, sister to sister) about your fears, failures and temptations. Be healed.