Criticism: Verbally attacking our spouse’s personality and character
Contempt: Attacking their sense of self (sarcasm and arrogance)
Defensiveness: Defensively seeing yourself as a victim to ward off perceived attacks.
Stonewalling : Withdrawing or shutting down.
These qualities DESTROY relationships.
These are nicknamed the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” (Gottman and Silver 2015). The reason is simple, once they are present in a marriage there is very strong chance your headed toward divorce! In fact, along with a few other related symptoms, divorce can be predicted with over 90% accuracy!
HATE THEM and click on the video for a funny illustration of what the first three look like. Note: Both “offices” reveal the first three Horsemen.