It was a great time as we closed out our last session of the Marriage Between Friends workshop this past Monday! I would never have guessed just how much conducting these workshops would have been such a blessing to my own marriage as we encourage others. As always at the end of every cohort there are a few thoughts that come to my mind that I hope will encourage us all!
Watch Your Mouth!!!
In our family of churches we are known for our level of commitment to God and to our standard of personal righteousness, especially when it comes to cursing…you know, the traditional four letter expletives that pepper most conversations today. What we can sometimes miss is that the biblical calling that far higher than just not cursing. Christ called disciples to treat our speech with a sacredness that is best summarized by the Apostle Paul when he says, “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful…” Ephesians 4:29. The word translated “unwholesome” literally means putrid as in rotting flesh or vegetables that are clearly unfit for human consumption. Of course this would include not saying the usual “sc’use
my french” type words but must be replaced by, “-only what is good for building someone in need”.
What is putrid language? Jesus defined putrid language as the name calling we do to others that express contempt and settled anger. In other words, saying anything that come from this heart, whatever that may be. This is on of the reasons why in Ephesians 4:26 Paul stated, “-in your anger do not sin…” Paul was not saying that anger, as an emotional response, was sin but as it is expressed when it takes up permanent residence in our hearts. You see Paul spelling this out clearly when he challenges the Christians in Ephesians 4:31 to “get rid of” what I have nicknamed the BRASS (I love acronyms, it’s my DOE and psychology training).
“Unwholesome Talk” Avoid the B. R. A.S. S. (based on the Holman Christian Standard)
A Brief word Study
Ephesians 4:31 “Get Rid Of…”
- Bitterness Original Word: πικρία, ας, ἡ
Part of Speech: Noun, Feminine
Phonetic Spelling: (pik-ree’-ah)
Short Definition: bitterness
Definition: bitterness, harshness, hence met: an embittered (resentful) spirit.
2372 thymós (from thyō, “rush along, getting heated up, breathing violently,” cf. J. Thayer) – properly, passion-driven behavior, i.e. actions emerging out of strong impulses (intense emotion).
When 2372 /thymós (“expressed passion”) is used of people it indicates rage (personal venting of anger, worth). This flaw is completely absent of the Lord expressing (inspiring) intense anger. Accordingly, 2372 (thymós) is used of God’s perfect, holy wrath inRevelation (Rev 14:10,19,15:1, etc.). This anger is directed against sin.
3709 orgḗ (from orgáō, “to teem, swelling up to constitutionally oppose”) – properly, settled anger (opposition), i.e. rising up from an ongoing (fixed) opposition.
3709 /orgḗ (“settled anger”) proceeds from an internal disposition which steadfastly opposes someone or something based on extended personal exposure, i.e. solidifying what the beholder considers wrong (unjust, evil).
[“Orgē comes from the verb oragō meaning, ‘to teem, to swell‘; and thus implies that it is not a sudden outburst, but rather (referring to God’s) fixed, controlled, passionate feeling against sin . . . a settledindignation (so Hendriksen)” (D. E. Hiebert, at 1 Thes 1:10).]
- “Brawling”- Shouting Cognate: kraugḗ(from 2896 /krázō, “cry out”) – loud crying, done with pathos (great emotion); clamorous screaming (shrieking) that is extremely boisterous, like a wounded person emitting “unearthly” (non-human) types of sounds.
Cognate: blasphēmía (from blax, “sluggish/slow,” and 5345/phḗmē, “reputation, fame”) – blasphemy – literally, slow (sluggish) to call something good (that really is good) – and slow to identify what is truly bad (that really is evil).
These are the expressions of anger that will destroy ANY relationship and especially what is supposed to be the closest and most sacred relationship on earth! If we as disciples can resolve to reign in our tongues we are in the best position to glorify God in our marriage and having a marriage that will be rich, meaningful and lasting.